Stuff & No sense

Prompt: Nonsense | Word Count: 250 words exactly | Genre: flash fiction

May 7, 2020

Chelsea was confused. There were so many mixed messages.

“Do Not, under any circumstances, wear a mask. They are needed on the frontlines.”

BUT “Everyone must mask up to go out, it’s mandatory.” Good luck finding one now, she thought.

“Ok? In that case,” she thought, “I’ll just go for a walk.”

“Good idea. It’s good for mental health. BUT not at the park. They’re all closed. And not where there are people.”

“So, just stay home, then? Um, I really, need a haircut, how about that?”

“Nope, sorry not allowed. BUT it’s ok for your dog to get a haircut.”

“So you’re saying I can’t use a lawn service to cut my grass?”

“True, BUT you can buy grass and toke it. So there’s that.”

“Maybe I should garden, nurseries are open. They are essential.”

“Great idea. BUT you can’t go in. Plus, speaking of essential, you’re not. BUT your have to work like you are. From home. No, we won’t reimburse internet fees.”

“I get it that I need to care of the vulnerable, and be sure they get what they need.”

BUT, “don’t go anywhere near them.”

“So I hear I should maintain my sanity by nature bathing.”

“BUT not in any national, federal, state or local areas. So basically your garden.”

“About that. See above.”

“The one thing I know for sure is that I must always wash my hands in hot water for at least two verses of happy birthday.”

“Or at least one, anyway.”

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